"Humbled to the dust"

The irony of the fact that I promised few posts and have since posted twice in one day is not lost on me. It's like the time I swore I would be a strict teacher and then the first day of class ended up dancing and making up a song about grammar. But I digress.

Last week, I met with one of my professors to discuss the topic for my dissertation. I brought in three ideas thinking, "He's going to be SUPES impressed that I have three options! He'll tell me which he likes most and I'll have a topic by the end of the day! In fact, he'll be so floored, he'll offer me a PhD right on the spot! No! Wait! He'll offer me HIS JOB!" You know the saying "Pride goeth before a fall?" Yeah. Me too...

15 minutes later, I left his office. Not one of the ideas did he promote; instead, I was told to be more narrow in my focus, really think about what I wanted to do, and basically just try again. As a words of affirmation person, this was tough for me, really tough. My mom, being the amazing mommy that she is and knowing exactly what I was feeling, immediately offered to fly over and kick, spit, and partially maim my professor, which made me feel slightly better.

Armed with my bruised ego, Callie and I then decided that attending a paper presentation by two of the PhD students would aid us in our dissertation endeavours. WRONG. The second presenter was one of those insanely brilliant people who you just stare at and ask, "What PLANET are you FROM?!" He discussed, in incredibly vague-but-at-the-same-time-it-makes-sense detail, and with reference to the TV show Community and the song "Friday" by Rebecca Black, the tenets of Post-Post-Modernism (because regular post-modernism is SO 2001).

[Despite my bitter tone, this man is incredibly brilliant and I did enjoy his presentation immensely. Disclaimer over. Please continue]

Naturally, we felt like complete and utter imbeciles upon leaving the lecture. Now, my ego was not only bruised, it was decimated, annihilated, kaput! However, since I now found myself at the "rock bottom" of dissertation land, I could truly begin my journey.

I tend to not take criticism well, at first. Once I've swallowed my pride and accepted the fact that since I'm not Jesus, I will never be perfect, I can take the advice I've been given to heart.

I started over. I went back to the basics. And I think I now have a topic :)

"When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom." - Proverbs 11:2

Dissertation Lowdown: 12,000-15,000 words to go. Title: Unknown. Subject: Known! Mood: GratefulforGod'slessoninhumiltyandsubsequentgraceandguidance.